Reading My Life!

With the time change, I am not so sure where I am in the mix of the day.  I still got up in the dark, and was ready to get up when I did.  I still workout in the dark and yet today I poured a ton of sweat, because it is probably 25 degrees warmer.  Great half hour training run on the bike.  Got a walk in the woods at nine and then library.

I was sitting here with a book this morning, “The Creative Habit” by Twyla Tharp.  

I am slowly making my way through the book, its about creativity and yet being focused and disciplined to get that creativity out.  I need the focus and the self discipline.

I feel things inside of me.  I feel a few paintings I want to paint.  I feel words I need to write,  I feel activities I have to do in my life time.  They all get pushed around and shoved into corners based on what I have to get done in my life.  

In everything right now, I am trying to establish and maintain much more focus.  Focus is so hard for me.  I zoom out in my head and loose my place and have to retrace my steps way too many times in a day. I write lists and seek to complete responsibilities, leaving a little bit of energy for the creative.

I’ve got a painting in me that won’t leave me alone.  After watching Phil Pringle paint his painting in our church, that thing started banging around in me.

When my friends started their training for triathlon, well it brought my inner-tri back up and the desire to do the Olympic level is raging around in side of me.  Now I slip into the pool twice a week focused on that mile each time.

I pull on running shoes seeking that 3 mile level soon….and then without delayed soreness.

I have the certification I need to finish, and apply all my focus too, and that is really banging around in me.  These next 3 months are critical for my child and myself.  We want to arrive at her graduation, at least 20lbs down.  I think it’s more than possible.  We sat down yesterday and made a huge plan.  To go where we want we need to focus and take very focused steps on a daily basis, so that they things within us can get out. 

Lawn mowers are growling, people are talking and dogs are barking.

This morning I was walking with a “walker” who I want to become a “trotter”…At one point I was sharing about creating a routine, to establish a whole new level of fitness in her life.  I talked about laying out my clothes the night before and immediately getting in to them in the morning.  Once in the clothes it was like creating momentum and we all know MOMENTUM HELPS ESTABLISH BALANCE.

Yesterday I took a friend out on her first real “road bike ride” she was given a road bike for Christmas and we took off on some flat back roads to get her rolling on the road.  The bike is nimble because of how close to the middle we place our hands.  Nimble and agile.  But ONCE YOU GET ROLLING YOU GET GOOD BALANCE.  IF YOU SLOW WAY DOWN YOU WOBBLE.

MOMENTUM CREATES BALANCE.  That was my observation and I immediately said, I WILL BLOG THAT ONE TOO!

Geting up and moving,

Booking dates to exercise

Rego for a event

THESE things get you moving and produce momentum and momentum creates a balance.  Don’t believe me, get on a bike and ride it slow, and then ride it faster, which is easier?  Faster smoother more balanced you become!

More to follow on this one.  I am distracted by the beautiful day and cold drink and good music.  My dog is laying in the sun and I am taking a nice walk shortly with a friend….Onward.

But you know about new levels, often in the beginning you fall back down and have to climb it again.  I was swimming this morning with my tri-girls.  I’ve pushed myself so hard and now I can swim a mile without stopping and I do it twice a week.

This morning it was absolute hell.  Because of yesterday, I assume. Hard as it was, I really was glad it was hard, I need to push myself in hard times.  Hard times in the water, are really hard times for me to endure.  But staying up on top of the new level is always hard at first, it’s so much more to contend with that you are either use to or you want to contend with.  But new levels are usually places of new view too.

Yesterday I had my very fit husband “train” me on the bike, a home made spin class.  We followed a Chris Carmichael DVD with sprints and power intervals that lasted 5 minutes in duration and truthfully I could only do 3 of them, and then only for 4 minutes.  I made it 45 mins of a 1 hr 10 min. DVD.  This morning my back is sore and tight and I did not want to swim.  But it’s the tri-girls.

My tri-girls are my little secret weapon.  They are all at least 19-25 yrs younger than I am, and they are all so motivated and carry something about the triathlon in their hearts.  They make me want to move, and they actually make me want to be better than they are, and I know that won’t happen accept in the pool, maybe in the pool I can be better.  Maybe and boy that would be sweet!

So one day I decided to swim the whole mile without stopping. I did it.  I was so excited and proud it was a new “frontier” for me.  A new level.  Since that day I’ve just made it mandatory when ever I swim, I swim a mile no matter what.

This morning I encountered the challenge of long distance endurance sport in the water.  As Jo said, “it was lonely and boring and no fun any more.”

I completely agree and I’ve been facing that twice a week now for 2 weeks.  Lonely, and boring is really NOT FUN!  But endurance sport is all about that a points and definately during training.  It’s a new level and I’ve got to win it in my head first and foremost, so I go in, knowing those are my demons to face, and I just stare them down and swim over them.  I want to get use to this new level, and I don’t want to tumble back down the mountain in any way.  I’ve worked hard to get here and now to find a way to enjoy it here!

“Ok, well you can find me right here”.  That sums it up.

You see I am just going to keep doing what works for me.  You will find me in the garage, working out.  Some of my girls come very early in the morning, and if for some reason they can’t make it, well that’s ok, because you will find me there anyway.  I’m committed to showing up and following through, how about you.?

You will find me in my places, the gym, the garage workout place, the pool on the road.  Where ever I promised to be, I will be there and I don’t need you to show up so I will show up, I can show up and follow through.  I’ve done it for so long alone, that working out with people, well, it’s icing on the cake!

I invited a friend to church on Sunday, that person backed out at the last moment, and you know what, I wrote them alittle note,  ”Its ok, you know where to find me, I’ll be there right where I should be. “

No matter what you do, I know what I am going to do, follow through!

I got invited to take my first spin class.  In the 2 yrs and 7 months that I’ve been working out, I’ve not been to “classes” of any kind and my gym membership is to a Fitness 19 which has no classes or tubes of any kind.  Just weight equipment and cardio machines.  Bring your own water and towel, and then leave.  There is no where to just hang out and drink juice.  

So off I go with 2 other women and my husband to this class. Our pastor Dean has pumped up the whole spin deal so much, we just can’t wait to try this out, and are so psyched!

Get the spin bike all set up for my body and check out the megaplex gym, with it’s very nice stuff.  I am thinking I am scared, spin classes are hard, I know this, but I’ve been on my bike alot this winter, so I am cool.  I also KNOW to ride my own ride, and stay within my own abilities.  I’ve got way too many workouts to get hurt.

It was hard as hell, I probably lost a few pounds in sweat. We went for 52 minutes, and I started watching my watch at the 30min mark, because that is the level of endurance I am at.  When it ended, you have never seen some one so happy to get off that bike!  It was crazy!  I was looking for where the trash cans where just incase I could not keep my snack down.  My girlfriends started charging towards the showers, they planned on going to church 30 mins later.  (I just went home, utterly spent)

  I was utterly wiped out when I was finished, I took a critical look at the level of intensity and duration I work out at now.  I almost threw up, I pushed it that hard.  I struggled with nausea for over an hour.  Everything hurt when I was done,  but I did it.  I know for a fact I went to a new level, with this experience.  A new place I’ve not pushed to before.  I liked it and if I did not hurt like I do, I would probably go downstairs and climb on my bike and take it to a new level down there, it was a fantastic experience.

I tell you all of this because I have a secret, and here it is, without a vision, I perish.  My Vision is triathlons again this summer.  My vision is a specific triathlon in Sept.  I am back to driving it with the work outs because I know for a fact with out a vision I perish!  I know in my personal world of fitness I must have a goal and direction or I will get bored with “nowhere” and quit.  My secret is always to have a special thing I want to try and do and then work towards it.  Where I am going now is going to take a lot of work and focus.

This morning I got up and I’m pretty sore in new places, like my shins (that’s just wrong) but it’s from standing up on that spin bike so much.  My arms hurt from lifting weights yesterday morning, my shoulders are still a bit sore from the mile swim on Tues.  Every major area is sore to a small or large degree.  It proves I’ve been training in all 3 sports.  Today I need to run, and it’s not really something I want to get up for.

I went to the gym at 5:30 this morning to meet a workout.  The early morning gym person must have overslept because the gym was closed.  My workout overslept and didn’t make it.  I happily returned to my chair and hot coffee.  Resting sore body parts.  But I’ve got a vision.  Triathlon.  I need to train all the way to not only do it, but help train and manage a group of women who are going to take it on too.

My heart has two visions, one is the IronWoman in June and potentially doing an Olympic level tri in Sept.  I am swimming a mile twice a week right now to see if I can build a good strong base.

I need to drop 20lbs to be in much better shape for this level of endurance.  But I am more than willing to keep pressing in for this, because I have a secret, I am “vision-powered!”

It was a beautiful day and everybody made it up and back down.  It was very hard work for some, and a alot of fun for others.  I carried each woman in my heart the whole way up, and focused intently on getting a few of my friends up there.  When we returned I was drained, absolutely drained.

I took yesterday off, no exercise had a great day celebrating my sister’s birthday.  This morning I was a bit tired and sore still, but ready to move.  Did a workout early and was listening to some of the thoughts that transpire while working out together.  It was very informative and brought about a whole new concept to ponder.

What to do when you’ve done the BIG DEAL?  Follow it up with something else, maybe not as big, and really you shouldn’t try to go from mountain to mountain, your body needs to rest, recover and heal.  But, certainly you want to keep moving.  Mountains drive us to new levels of preparation and achievement, but WHAT THEN?  How do we keep going and not just tumble head over heels back down to the valley of inactivity or despair?  

#1 Rest after the mountain.  Then get moving again

#2 Fill up your calendar with at least two workouts with others the following week, to keep you moving.

#3 Look for another event to train for, immediately if you don’t already have one on the books.

#4 Watch your attitude, it wants to rest now and go back to the way it was, so long ago.  But that’s exactly what you are trying to get away from, your unhappy-inactive-unfit life!

#5 Call a friend and take a walk, OUTSIDE and visit.

Some times exercise carries you, and Some times you have to carry it.

Months of carrying exercise in your lives got you to the place where that exercise carried you up the mountain.  Keep it going!  Remember the good feelings you have after you are done and keep going!

I wrote the song, edited the song, and recorded a rough draft of the song. The I re-recorded a second draft of the song and ran it through the Mac over to iTunes and eventually it found it’s way into my iPod.  My iPod has a dock on my amp that I wheel around into each classroom. So I basically popped the iPod on the amp and played the song to 12 classes of second graders today.

That means I stood there while the iPod did all the work.  

The “wow factor” was in play the minute I took out their cultural icon, the iPod.  Plugging it in and playing the song took them to another level, and then the song itself iced the cake, all while I stood there “empty handed”  No guitar, nothing to do but stand and sing and walk around cheering them on.

It was a very different vibe, and action for me.  Freaky at first, but highly satisfying once I got them all moving and kept up with the lyrics…a feat all it’s own.

It’s how I finished off a season of singing to 840 kids in a week.  I was finishing on a high note, more in their culture than mine.  It was using technology and sharing the story of using that technology, that enhanced the learning experience.  I left very very pleased with the biggest hit of my season.

Each of the messages this year in that school at that grade level were all very close to a new edge for Mrs D.  I drove home the point about caring, about standing up for yourself and teaching them how to get control of their situations and nail it.  I am pleased because I drove home all the care I carry.  I drove home with passion my points that never quite leave me alone!  Now I need more kids to pour out on.  I need more classrooms to visit, more teachers to touch and help.  I need more!

It was a rare thing to step in front of the guitar and sing with out it.   It was worth all the discomfort!

All the headaches of these last few weeks and worth all the little stressors still to come as I nail the cd.

Yep, worth IT

Yesterday I spent the day at the library trying to focus and study, when I went out side after 4 hrs, oh my gosh it was like spring outside, the sky was blue, it was warm and just glorious out.  I rearranged my afternoon to fit in a walk at the park w/ the dogs.  Not a workout but a nice walk in the park.  It really pushed me into over drive the rest of the day, but so nice when I was out there.

I did a project fitness workout last night at 6.  We also walked outside in cool of dusk.  My friend had been through the death of a family member, which had put her in a 2 week cycle of living on the run, eating out and eating poorly and not able to get up and exercise in the mornings due to stress and fatigue.  There was a huge interruption to her daily flow and routines.  She was in and out of hospitals and Hospice I think.  Everything was off kilter.  I smiled knowingly, I lived that way for 4 months STRAIGHT.  ( I get it)  

As we walked I realized my friend had lost her momentum and no longer wanted TO DO like she had, when it came to exercise.

I said, “you are tired, and you’ve been through alot and now you have to DIG UP SOME GOOD MEMORIES and MOVE FORWARD.  DON’T FORGET THE GOOD FEELINGS when you make em!

MOVE FORWARD, the good feelings will come back, the sense of accomplishment will come back!

MOVE FORWARD have a plan A and a plan B for the weekend.  DON’T MISS your next 2 or 3 workouts for NOTHING!  MOVE FORWARD FROM HERE.

People tend to drop the ball at times like this.  MOVE FORWARD.    Don’t let the recent events cause you to just stop, DON’T STOP MOVING, just because you don’t want to, MOVE REGARDLESS of feelings they will come back.

If I had not done this I would not be writing these words, but 2 years ago right now, I was living a non stop, 24 hr set of days.  My Mother was in and out of hospitals, I was sleeping in chairs, and walking halls in the middle of the night, I was living on the constantly run,or sleeping on the floor in her livingroom and I could not always exercise, but daily I walked up and down flights of stairs at our local hospital.  Daily I would go out in to the parking lot and walk the perimeter.  If we were homebound, I got on my equipment in the garage with a baby monitor,  a walkie talkie and a cell phone and mother was only a room away, some times for only 5 min increments.

Every single moment I got a chance, I went to the park and walked, because I no longer could jog, I was always just too tired.  I never lost it, the will to exercise.  I KEPT MOVING FOR ME and MY FUTURE.  It paid off, I am still moving.

MOVE FORWARD from what ever is disappoint.  Find a way of movement you like!  Make a friend if need be.  Enter a race now for later….keep moving forward!   “BE” active.

This morning I went to the gym down the road at 5:30.  Met a friend there and we rode bikes side by side and totally soaked out, getting in 11 miles before she headed off to her job.

While riding I asked her, “so I’m into numbers how long have you been doing this”  she told me this was week 2 of changing things.  She got sick of being sick of not being where she wanted to be.

When you get sick enough of IT, eventually you start to plot and plan.  Then one day, you say enough is enough and you begin to leave your pit!

I am a former PIT DWELLER.  I know about the pit and all the despair in it.  I don’t want to go back there. So I plot and plan how to keep moving with fitness.  

Exercise broke the bad cycles, and I have hung on to it all through the last 2 yrs and 7 months.  These years have been the hardest years of my life.  So much transition and change and loss.  But exercise got me through that and into new places and exercise is going to lead me right into my future.  

I hold on tight.  Letting go, and I know where I will eventually return to, A PIT.

So, get up and get moving, move forward and stay out of the pit today!